My Urban Sherpa

Passing The Velvet Rope

If you really want to be a part of the nightclub game, then it is time you get savvy. Figure out where to go and how to slip in with slightly more ease. Otherwise, you could wind up outside the club half the night. Remember, you have to dress the part before you can play it. Also try to steer away from tri-level mega clubs, which always take an hour to get in. Besides, once you are in you will most likely lose your friends, your wallet, your hearing and perhaps your dignity.

That being said, the distressing reality is even if you do max out your credit card to buy a new Hugo Boss suit for a big night out on the town, you are not going to get in. Puff Daddy over there got his suit custom designed by Marc Jacobs himself. If you have money in your pockets and you are willing to spend hundreds of dollars in Tenjune or Upstairs or Marquee, trust me, you are still not going to get in. That greasy looking fellow with 10 models on his arm is probably an heir to cotton balls or Vaseline and he’ll spend thousands. If you have an attractive girl with you and a bundle of cash to spend, you may get in but it will take at least a half hour. If you reserve a table in advance that includes two bottles at $300 a pop plus tax and tip for only four people (and two of them better be female), congratulations, you’re getting in. You’ve just passed the velvet rope!

The truth of the nightclub industry… it is a money sucking, ego damaging, cult-like phenomenon. And many well-educated, well-paid people are just dying to join. If you’ve had a bouncer who barely made it out of junior high tell you “no way,” or “get outta here,” or even plainly ignore your existence you are not alone. The New York City club circuit has become almost exclusively for the rich and famous. Oh, and of course some dangerously young females.

So before taking your next walk of shame to the “reject-bar” down the block from Bungalow 8, why not try out some popular lounges that are stiff at the door but passable, nonetheless.

I had a chat with Mark Osborne, owner of Kush on Chrystie Street (the newest locale for hard-to-get-into-places with spots like The Box and 205 lining the block); one of the lounges I enjoy frequenting and asked him how common folk can get in? “Kush is unique for its exotic, elegant architecture and cozy alcoves and hidden corners as opposed to many cold, boxy clubs,” he said. “While Kush is warm and welcoming. Door policy is not as welcoming so be either dressed formally or have a downtown chic/casual cool look, especially if you don’t have any women with you.”

Or you could try Le Souk. The East Village hot spot has been known for its multi-national music, dancing and tasty hookahs for years. They have a red rope as well but odds are you will not be snubbed. The main floor is cozy while the downstairs is spacious for dancing, so the more the merrier. There is one VIP bed that can be reserved ahead of time just in case you want to lie down while you go out.

If you simply can’t seem to get yourself out of last year’s Banana Republic chinos then my advice is forget the clubs. Stick to bars on the Upper East Side. Brother Jimmy’s has pitchers or beer and all the wings you could possibly desire. All you need to get in here is proof you are over 21. Another possibility for the style-starved is Lucky Cheng’s in the East Village. This way you can watch the drag queens. They have more than enough style for everyone.

You don’t need to create massive credit card debt just to be shunned up and down 27th Street a.k.a. “club row”. There is a place for every single one of you here in New York City.

Sarah Polonsky is a native New Yorker and journalist who has contributed to The New York Post, The National Enquirer, Life & Style and OK! Magazine. She happily shares her savoir faire and joie de vivre as an editor of My Urban Sherpa.